I must confess. I have delved into the deep damp pools of envy and come out alittle smelly and covered in this weird green goo. I swear there was no goo when I dived in there. And yet here I am...

I might need to translate. I envy Steve from http://thesneeze.com. He writes pretty much the best blog ever. I am a member of the Tree Brains. I faithfully check every day. I've read the entire archive. I have even slipped his link in my friends list over there on the left because I want so much to know this man. Nay, be this man. If my blog could only compare, then I would have the adoration of millions! Then, God knows what I would do with that power. Instead, I can only emulate and hope.

I have one problem. I don't have kids. Or a wife. Or more legally in this state, a husband. I've noticed with careful study that he often blogs about these people. For a long time I didn't know what to do about this lack in my life. I considered grabbing the next dude I see on the street and marrying him. Then proceeding to have lots of unprotected sex in hopes that my kids will be charming enough to write about. But then I realized those kids won't be able to talk for two years earliest, and to be frank, I want to be an internet sensation NOW.

Then I looked around my apartment and I found the closest thing I have. My Roomate. I think this is going to be great. I can't wait to blog about the weird things she does.

Here's is a teaser:
When sick, she addresses her chicken soup as baby. "Don't worry baby, you'll be in my tummy soon" Then she coos.

I love her. She is the best!