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So, I'm trying to get this "real world" thing figured out. First step get a job. I applied to a call center in town and surprise of surprise I got the job. neat. Mind numbing labour here I come. But there was one thing I had to do first. I had to take a drug test. Because obviously you can't be doped up on elephant powder or crystal juice and answer a phone.

In theory it wasn't a problem. I don't do drugs, hadn't even drank anything since graduation. Just pee in a cup. I mean, I'm not a guy, so I can't aim or anything but drug addicts do it all the time, so I, an educated and healthy young woman could surely pee in a cup. I was all ready too. I went to the place (the pee cup place) early in the morning, I didn't even take my ritual just woke up bathroom break, so I had to go pretty badly. But apparently, I have a shy bladder. I'm talking really shy. I was in that room for nearly an hour, listening to every word the doctor said to anyone on the phone or at the front desk. Actually, for all I knew he was talking to himself, but he was talking a lot is all I know, and my bladder didn't like it even one bit.

Then I remembered reading this http://www.thesneeze.com/mt-archives/000626.php a while ago. My good old buddy Steve from the Sneeze had my back. His bladder is shy in not very Private bathrooms. I don't envy men this particular problem, but his solution was helpful for mine. Arithmetic. I started a pattern of addition in my head. 2+3=5 3+4=7 4+5=9 I think I got to 9+10=19 before the flood gates opened.

Thank you Steve. You saved my job.

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And Now What?  


So I am pretty much graduated. By pretty much I mean totally. Such an accomplishment makes me want to give you, my dear readers, some words of wisdom. So here:

Packing sucks. Don't ever do it if you want
Also so does looking for jobs
Now I can Blog more. So thats good.
My mom doesn't buy milk as often as I'd like, so I already can't wait to live on my own again.

Actually, I don't think any of that was advice. So well, oh well. Anyway, graduation was very nice. Our speaker was some sort of author type. His goal was to know nothing. That's a pretty good goal. I don't know how it compares with mine, (too be an internet sensation). On the one hand, his has philosopical and zen like resonance and mine is entirely self serving. On the other hand, his is a goal of negation, where as mine is a goal of positive movement. Both goals seem to have no lasting effects. But, still.

Other than that, there were plenty of the sorts of things you expect at graduations there: the silly hats, the boring list of names, the one guy who throws something ridiculous while on stage. So now I get to go into the real world. I submitted my first application, grabbed a couple others and realized I'd rather sit at home a bit. Can't though, I've got loans now. The banks gift to me upon my graduation.

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Something new I noticed about cats:

They like to walk around your bed a couple times while you are sleeping and jump all over you. Then when you are awake they like to make scratching noises on the carpet. FOR HOURS.

Thought you would like to know. I'ma go take a nap.

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I'm under your bed, stealin your zzz's  


I'm a dog person. I like an animal the will stick it's face in your face and slobber all over it. I don't like to have to wonder if a pet wants me to pet it. It's a pet, they are for petting. With a dog, the answer is always yes, pet me, please.

With cats on the other hand, everything is in question. Like, why are you in my wardrobe? or if I touch you will you bite me. Or, like right now with the cat my sister has brought: where the frack are you? I don't like a pet that will vanish unexpectedly. It's just not the way I roll.

Apparently, my sister (read: one fourth of my readership) doesn't agree. She brought her new cat to stay for a while. His name is Vincent. He likes my dresser drawers and hiding under my bed. Here is a picture of not him:

Yeah. Looks cute right. Oh I'm a cat, every one loves me. I'm fluffy. Blah blah. I'm so tired of cats.

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I've been in an odd state lately, not really in the mood to blog about silly things. But I did want to show off the cover to my manuscript

It's pretty amazing... Thanks to Ms. Angie. (check out her blog, it be in the link list).

The manuscript is full of ghosts, stars, eye ball removal and four years of hard work. But none of that is as visually appealing as the lovely cover up there...

Mine is a lonely artform.

Meanwhile, I will return soon with a cheerful update about the strange things cops do.

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