So I had a day of pride and joy. You see I was at Wal Mart and I bought some Reeses...

Oh wait, I'm telling this all wrong. You see, I was at Wal Mart because of my dog. Or more specifically because Jarvis vomited all over the TV CORDS. I had nothing to clean it with. My dog gives good presents.

So at wal mart I decided to suppliment the high powered carpet cleaner I bought with a treat. Reese peanut butter cups. Now, to understand the rest of this story, you have to get that I love Reese's. The perfect proportion of peanut butter t chocolate. The two bites it takes to devour each cup. I even like the way the chocolate sticks to that little rectangle of paper because then, when you are done with the cup, you still have a tiny bit left for savoring.

On my way out of the store, I opened the jumbo sized bag I had indulged in, and took at an individually wrapped morsel, ripped the plastic off with my teeth.
Then I dropped the unwrapped cup. Right on the Wal Mart floor. Where teamsters and greasy teenagers have tread.

And what did I do next?

I ate that reese's cup, what do you think?
I'm not sorry, it was delicious.

I need to talk to you about something serious. Very very serious. This is way more major than all the relationship bs thats cropped up so far, or swims around on my other blog.

I want to tell you about my worst enemy.

The traffic light left turn red arrow.=

I ask you, what is the point of this particular traffic symbol. I get the point of the green arrow, sometimes it is hard to find a gap to make a left turn. The green arrow is like a friendly crossing guard saying, "hey you, your wait is over, please go."

The red arrow is like his asshole brother who showed up to work with a hang over. He just stops you from going, for his own sick and bitter amusement. Sure you know no one is in your way right now, but the red arrow sits there blinking its mad, evil blink.

You can try to reason with it. Promise that you won't go when someone's coming. After all, you're not an idiot. You can see approaching cars. You know they are really steel death traps approaching and death speeds. You can wait your turn.

The red arrow doesn't listen to such nonsense. Your impatience only amuses him, and in his cold and lonely life, amusements are few and far between.

I've joined a baseball team.

Now you may be wondering, why Tamara? Why do you want to be a part of a baseball team when you have clearly have no interest in athletics of any kind. You don't watch sports, you're even glad to have a job that requires walking around so that you feel like you get some exercise.

I don't know the answer.

I do know we played our first game today and there was some drama on the field. Apparently we were placed in the wrong division and suddenly a church team peopled with less than amateurs and me, which is less than that were matched against a group of people who knew what they were doing.

It was embarassing.

Or at least it was for everyone on the field. For me, it was a sunny day with a slight breeze and an hour of reading time.

Oh right, thats why I joined Baseball. :)

So...

I'm working on a new project.

I don't want you guys to think I don't love you. I do. You guys are the best. But... sometimes you need to expand.

Some of the things going on in my head right now don't really work with the format of this blog. Mainly that I am single and a little bit bitter about it. So I started a blog that would work a bit better. There is a link at the top of the blog. The Single Girls' Guide to Life. It's pretty much just about being single and a girl. If you are neither you might not be interested. But you might be. You don't know! give it a go.

Anyway, I am still going to post here, more regularly than before if I have anything to say about it. And I do.

It's been months since we've talked. I've even got a mildly nasty comment about my lack of talking to you all. It's ok, I'm not mad. I've hurt you. I ignored you for months. It's my fault.



I don't know what is going to happen to this blog. I don't spend much of my time feeling witty and charming these days. So I haven't written.



I first came up with this blog to entertain and to be silly. I wanted to be lighthearted, cynical and fun. But I think I might have to be serious sometimes. I am having serious thoughts. Life is complicated for me. Life is far more complicated for others. And we are all struggling with it. Shouldn't we be able to talk about that with our friends.



Want to be my friend?



Right now, I'm in love. He is a great guy. He can cook like no buddy's business, the cook of his arm has this spot where my head fits perfectly. He is well read, and clever. Everything I want.



Which is actually terrifying.



I am paralysingly afraid of losing him. Freaking out about it all the time. He is too. It's a problem. We hurt each other about it.



Love is supposed to be beautiful. Songs are written about it. Paintings painted.



So why do we hurt each other for the reason that we don't want to hurt each other?



I don't know. But I don't want to end on that note. There has to be hope in this situation. It's the only thing that we have to deal with these things. He told me that, when I was all out of hope. He is someone to keep around